Stress, it's just what the doctor ordered

So at one time I always thought my blood pressure got high when I went to the doctor. I mean, I would have OK blood pressure sometimes when I went, but other times it would be high for various reasons. These reasons could be anything from just feeling like poop to being way pissed about the horrible screaming child in the waiting room who I wanted to beat (Hey, I feel bad too and you don't see me throwing a hissy!) The last 3-4 times I've been in a doctors office though, those things haven't exactly been factors.

I won't give all the gross sinusy allergyish reasons why I went to the doctor the other day, but I was THIS close to walking out of there with a prescription for blood pressure medicine along with all of the other drugs I was given. I don't know about you, but at the ripe age of 27, I'm not ready to start blood pressure medication.

I guess that was somewhat of a wakeup call. Yes, it was a stressful week with lots of deadlines in the office. Yes I have felt like poop for about 5 days, which was probably related to some work stress and just general stress that I put myself under. The fact of the matter is, I gotta take care of myself because as much as anyone else might love me, they can't shed the 50 pounds I need to lose or take deep breaths for me.

After sleeping pretty much all day on Thursday and Friday, I am feeling much better. I actually showered today and went into civilization (but it was Antioch, so I don't know how civilized it was.) It's amazing what going back on allergy medication can do for you...or at least for me!

Puppies

I think if you've been around me long enough, you know that I really really have been wanting a dog. I talk about it all the time and I look for them on petfinder and craigslist all the time. The right dog just hasn't found me.. or I get hesitant and think about the HUGE responsibility it is.

I've come to the conclusion though that I'm a much bigger dog person than a cat person, even though i love my dear girls Ruby and Star. Lex, Herbie's dog, is one of the best animals ever. He doesn't get mad at me over stupid things like the cats do. I can scare him and he'll still stay by my side, maybe even closer. He is happier than anything ever when I walk through the door and he doesn't even freak out when he goes for a car ride. There's just something about him that makes me feel loved. The cats love me, but they don't really care as long as they can have a clean litter box, plenty of food and water, and.. am I forgetting anything? Yeah, didn't think so.

I've narrowed it down to a few different types of dogs I want.

#1 The Dachshund- How can I resist their weiner goodness? Lex is a wired hair dachshund, like the ones in the picture, except cuter. I thought most dachshunds were brats and snippy since a neighbor briefly had one when I was a child. Along comes Herbie and his dog and my opinion totally changed. Most others I have come in contact with more recently have been great and I think they would just be a great little companion. I also think it would be fun to get one and name it Oscar Meyer Weiner, Hebrew National, Ball Park, and Brat-just to name a few.

(Yes, this is why I can't have kids. Imagine the names I could come up with. I would make their initials spell bad things, or their names would just be so bad they'd beg for me to give them up for adoption.)

#2- The Papillon- Just look at those freaking butterfly ears. They are so cute it hurts. I am not a purse puppy kind of person, but if I wanted to carry it around in a purse, I could. You know what else would be great? Name it Mothra. I could see it now.. walking the cutesy little butterfly eared puppy and yelling "Here Mothra!!" and people would be terrified that it would be some huge german shepard or something, but no, instead it's a dainty little papillon. Plus they are very smart dogs, some can be trained to use a litter box, and it would be a reason to push me out the door to walk. But the major thing is that it's pretty, and I like pretty things.

There are a few others, but I haven't researched them as much as the dachshund or papillon. For now I'll just dream. I have an appointment with an allergy and asthma specialist on Thursday to get some of my major issues addressed, and I'm kinda sorta scared he's going to lecture me about having animals. Yes, I'll take freaking allergy shots and do more asthma treatments to keep the cats (at least Star, although after 2.5 years Ruby is coming around and wearing on me) and to keep Lex around when Herbie brings him, but adding another dog to the mix, I might be asking for it.

What to do...What to do...

You really aren't friends until you're facebook friends.

As a lot of people know, I have a love hate relationship with social networking. I love the fact that I can find old contacts from high school or elesewhere and catch up with them. It's a great way to connect and stay in touch. Let's face it, it's an easy way to keep up with people that you would never want to pick up the phone and talk to.

However, my list of negative things out numbers the list of positives.

People now have this feeling of entitlement. People think they are important now. Oh I'm at a predators game and I'm going to update my twitterspacebook about how I'm at the game drinking a $2 beer and everyone is going to hit the like button and comment about how they think that's awesome.

I'm sitting on my lazy fat ass at home watching a movie and everyone cares about it. I'm having promiscuous sex with random people and everyone cares. I'm eating freaking cereal with old milk and everyone cares.

Wow, I'm so awesome because I have 1207 people who are my friends on the internet, 95% of whom I haven't spoken to or seen in years because they bullied me in high school or made my life hell in one way or another.

I don't know about everyone else, but I think that life was easier even 5 years ago when everyone around you didn't have access to every single moment of your life and you could pick up the phone and call them. Now everyone is too busy updating their twitterfacespace status to get attention and the word out to everyone that they are or are not ok.

I have given into texting--yes. However, do I want to have a FULL conversation with anyone via text? The answer is no. If something important is going on in your life or someone important to you, don't let me hear about it through text or your status on a social networking site. Call me, hell even email me a personal message, if you have good news and bad news. I want to hear it...... I want to be able to react in a personable way instead of hitting a like button or commenting that I don't like it.

10 years ago you didn't have all of the convenience that you do now. Yes, texting and facetwitspacing is convenient, but are you building those lasting friendships that you would have 10 years ago? Are we coming upon an age where we don't need friends? Do we just need a lot of "yes" people in our lives to hit a like button?

From one extreme to the other- this might be long

I definitely have some stories about religion. I have witnessed one extreme to the other, and honestly I've participated in some of those extremes. For the most part though, I have stood back and watched the train wreck happen.

My grandma has always been a hardcore follower of the Church of Christ. My grandfather, I never remember seeing in a church, until he was baptised at the age of about 74. My grandma raised 3 wonderful children, giving them the perfect Church of Christ upbringing. My mother got pregnant at the age of 19. The youngest, Eugene, got into heavy drugs and ran off from home at 18 doing any and everything he possibly could do to get in trouble. Tommy, the oldest, got married pretty young, and from what I understand he did a lot of the same things Eugene did as well.

I guess that backfired! Luckily for my grandma, my mother birthed me and she had that one last chance! Unfortunately, for her, and fortunately, for me, that didn't quite work out.

However, I will say that my mom and her ex husband, when he wasn't on a drinking binge, would take me to church here and there. Even though it was a baptist church, and we all know that the only people going to heaven are the members of Church of Christ, it made my grandma somewhat happy to know I was at least getting some kind of Jebus in my life. I don't remember much about it because I honestly never enjoyed it. I just remember the crazy preacher man standing in front of the church, with his face turning red, and telling us all that we were GOING TO HELL. From what I understand, that tends to be a baptist preacher kind of thing.

While we were going to this church, there were times that my mom's husband at the time would go totally dr. jekyl mr. hyde on us, and he'd either find another religion to jump to, or he would just sit on the couch and do nothing but drink for a month. He'd eventually stop the drinking when he would develop the beer gut that made him undesirable to the ladies (that's a whole other entry.)

My favorite religion that he found was Seventh-Day Adventist. For about a month he was going to informational meetings every week and then started going to the actual services. He tried every way in the world to tell my mother and I that it was the way. It was the only way. I am pretty sure he even tried to make my mom stop wearing makeup and wear more modest clothing. My mother of course didn't give in, and eventually he dropped it (probably because whatever woman was trying to get him into the church probably found out he was married.) So he went back to the baptist church and got his 3rd or 4th baptism.

(on a side note I have to throw this in there... Since they got divorced when I was almost 11, he has been jewish, don't know if he actually converted, and he is currently at some kind of baptist church because he called and begged my grandma to have me and my mother call him so he could get forgiveness. Loser.)

Let's fast forward from about the age of 10 to when I was about 23. I had only been to church a handful of times since my mom left Mickey. One time out of the handful of times I went was for my grandfather's baptism, where I was bombarded by my grandma and her church lady friends, because they were, and still are, convinced that I'm going to hell for not being baptised and accepting the jebus into my heart.

At that time, I'll admit, I gave it some thought. I mean, I have always felt this need inside me to have some kind of spirtuality. I have needed the comfort, and I thought that if I did let some grown ass man of god dunk me under some water, maybe I would feel some kind of awakening. I still didn't do it.

When my grandfather died, I did what a lot of people do after tragedies or major life changing events- I started going to church. I started going to the Church of Christ with my grandma. I went religiously trying to find my place. It felt right for a little while, but then I started noticing things that REALLY bothered me. If I missed a Sunday, I was made to feel guilty. If I missed a few, I was a horrible person and I was abandoning my poor lonely grandma. It also bothered me that my grandma and my great-great aunt, Irene, couldn't go without talking in the middle of the service and pretty much afterwards it was all about the social thing. I'm sorry, if I wanted to be social, I'd go to a bar, which is pretty much where I would go when I'd leave anyways.

I struggled with the realization, but accepted that church and pretty much Christianity was and still isn't for me. It's amazing that you can still have morals, believe in god, and be an all around decent person without going to church and labeling yourself.

A little over a year ago, I started dating Herbie, who is Jewish. Yeah, go on and reference that chick on Sex and the City, call me crazy, or whatever else. I became intrigued by the religion. I knew it was an important part of his life, yet he wasn't over the top about it, and he can still be a HORRIBLE person even though he's Jewish (I kid!). He introduced me to some of the traditions (food) slowly and I was all about it (the food). I wanted to learn more about the other things (non food related), and I started going to the synagogue, Congregation Micah, with him and really did enjoy it.

Now I guess about 5 or 6 months later, I really love it. Nobody makes me feel guilty for missing some services and they are just really nice. I knew when I saw the lesbian couple worshipping there in harmony, it was the place for me. Even though sometimes I feel like I have gentile tatooed on my forhead, nobody makes me feel bad for not knowing the traditions or for feeling a bit out of place.

Last night they had a Sukkot celebration with the services held outside. As Rabbi Laurie invited everyone to follow her out in the grass while singing and dancing, I laughed and told Herbie that there's a special place in hell for the Church of Christ girl who is singing and dancing at a religious gathering.

What the hell...

Uh oh!

What the heck have I done? What am I in for?

Do I really want to do this? A place for people I know, and the general unknown public to read my thoughts and ramblings.

I apologize in advance.